I had vivid dreams in college. I have many journals chock full of colorful details to prove it. However, since law school, interesting dreams are at a premium (most likely attributable to my sporadic sleep schedule, but it's quite possible that law school just sucked the color out of my dreams).

Since graduation (coincidence?), I've been having a slew of crazy dreams. Most of them revolve around the wedding on the surface, but I know there is more to them. Anyone want to help me decipher these things?? Here are a couple examples:

Dream One: Took place during the wedding. The ceremony was fine but the reception was in a very strange and cold place. Like a castle, with cobblestone floors and huge curtains. I couldn't find Travis for several hours. My family members were drinking way too much and passed around all around the reception hall. I found Travis in a corner behind a curtain, very drunk and silly. I wanted to get out of there but he told me he forgot to book a hotel for us. So I left and went to my current bed alone. (This one has repeated with various alterations...mostly revolving around not having a place to go after the wedding).

Dream Two: Woke up one day to my mom telling me that she had changed my wedding date--to that particular day. Went into a panic spiral trying to get everything ready. Didn't have a dress, didn't have flowers, etc. Didn't even have time to shower or get ready at all. Get to the location and find out that no one had told Travis about the change either. He was at work, blissfully unaware that his wedding was happening. Nevertheless, I was told that the show must go on. I woke up right as I was walking down the aisle towards no one.

Dream Three: Similar to dream 2 but this time it was my bridal shower. The plans were set without taking into account something really important that I couldn't get out of. Instead of rescheduling the shower, my friends and family went on without me.

Dream Four (last night): Travis got really sick right before the wedding. I kept asking people to help me cancel/reschedule things but no one was willing to help. One family member contacted our honeymoon location about it. We would have been able to reschedule the trip but this person was trying to cancel the whole thing. I overheard and rescheduled a couple of days. T got better and we went on the trip. We were in this HUGE resort-type place. We got lost too often and had to request help to find our room. We were incapable of finding it on our own. I spent a lot of time alone, mostly looking for Travis or, alternatively, our room. I ran into an ex-boyfriend and conjured up all kinds of old memories (this part is probably because of the ridiculously movie my sister and I saw Saturday--forgetting sarah marshall). Finally, I escaped the ex and found Travis. A staff member came running to us and told us that Travis had left the door open (how they knew it was T, not sure) and we needed to make sure everything was still there. We went to look for our room for the hundredth time. This time, the staff had put up signs for us--notably to me, though, it had T's first and last name and my first and current last name. We found our room (thanks to the signs) and everything looked like it had been looked through, but nothing was missing.

Any insight? Maybe I should refrain from eating Chex Mix before bed?

I was a little frustrated by last night's dream because, in my waking life, T and I are at a really great place. After many stress-induced fights, we are starting to handle our changing worlds. We even had several non-wedding related dates (I had to point out to him that picking out wedding invitations is not a proper date...especially when we are arguing). After our engagement picture session on Friday, he took me to a very nice dinner. Then, yesterday, we went blueberry picking and to see Kung Fu Panda on the IMEX. My subconscious needs to chill too.

Oh what a week it has been! In addition to sleeping very little, I started intense bar reviewing, interviewed for 3 jobs, accepted one...oh, and almost died.

Note: I tend to be overly dramatic. But, I am convinced that, but for Travis, I would have died a peculiar and tragic death.

Back up to Memorial Day. T and I decided that it would be a brilliant idea to take our insane dog (part lab/part boxer) canoing down the mighty Illinois River. We wanted to do the 12-mile but the canoe rental people irrationally limited us to 6 because of the dog. Livy (the dog) has multiple personalities. Sometimes she is a reserved boxer and sometimes she is a wild lab. This was especially apparent during our journey. Every once in a while she would go nuts and dive in. Other times she would freak out and pace the canoe (leading to many near tips). Nevertheless, everything was going okay....until the first official tip where we lost our shoes. Walking on those rocks barefoot is akin to walking on charcoal. Generally unpleasant. But the worst was yet to come. We missed our turn and ended up in the wrong part of the river. The only solution was to fight the current back to the turn. This is where it got insane. Several times I was ready to give up and create a new life on the water, maybe even developing gills. I seriously did not know how we were going to make it back to civilization. There was NOTHING and no one around, that I could see. Travis sucked it up and got us to the bank and walked us back to where we needed to be. Bloodly feet and all. I am sad to say that I was a complete baby and did not contribute very much.

After we reached safety and we were heading down the turn, Liv decided to be a lab and jumped out! The current was too strong for her and started carrying her back down the dreaded path we had just endured. T, without hesitation, jumped after her (after giving me a good push to where I could dock safely). It was an awful site...my dog floating away. She got caught in a tree, which was heartbreaking but fortuitous because it gave T time to catch up. Then came the process of getting back to me and the canoe. I will never forget that sight. Travis carrying our 75 pound dog over his shoulder, painfully stepping over the rocks. The dog was freaked out and thoroughly scratched up his back.

That was her first and last canoe trip for a while.

That's enough for now. Next time I will discuss the job and all of the job-related drama.

I have been gently reminded that I haven't posted in 50 weeks! Not as if much has changed---aside from getting engaged, planning an increasingly massive wedding and graduating law school.

Looking back, I see that I often write about the small things. It's the big things that I have trouble summing up in words. Rather than look backwards (unless you are really interested in the proposal story--I strive not to be one of those girls to give more sappy information than anyone wants), I will discuss the future.

I just finished a week of one bar study course and am about to start the serious one (barbri) on Tuesday. So far I've learned that I wasted 3 years of my life learning details for a test that does not require much detail. And although I've been told that approximately 75% of people pass the Bar (90% of my school last time), that does not bring my comfort. If I pass, it won't seem like much of an accomplishment (given the caliber of some of my classmates). If I fail, I may have to be institutionalized. So, really, it's a win-win.

After the dreaded Bar, there is the wedding. About 85 days from now. Don't get me wrong, I am very much looking forward to marrying Travis. I am not, however, looking forward to the wedding. Every day it becomes more apparent that this day is not about Travis and my eternal commitment. It's about centerpieces and invitation wording.

Any advice, married people? Things you liked/didn't like about your wedding? Things you would have done differently?

Off for a run with the pup. She is my new fitness coach. Because weddings are also about looking your best, right? :)

k

Honestly, I have fallen head over heels in love with Washington DC. Isn't it strange to be in love with a city? Maybe....but I'm fine with that.

I've visited this city before but this experience is different. I've only been here for 2 weeks but it feels like 3 years...in a good way. If I could ship my boyfriend and my dog up here, I probably wouldn't go back to Tulsa. Who cares if I'm 2/3 of the way through law school? :)

While I love it here, it's been quite an adjustment. For example, I take public transportation everywhere (which is appropriate since I'm working for a committee on the environment). The Metro system is fantastic....most of the time. I've figured out that people exaggerate about how close things are to the metro stop. "Metro accessible" means that it's within a mile of a metro. I know this now. I wish I had known it before so I wouldn't have arrived so late (and sweaty) to functions. My trip to Target last week turned into a day-long adventure!

However, even walking around in dress shoes is worth it to work where I work. I have learned WAY more about politics in one week than I learned in 4 years of reading about it. This is completely different than what I'm used to when I worked for campaigns. I can't think of a short story to share right now about the actual work but guess who I had lunch with the other day? Influential senator? Future President? No.....not yet. But I did have lunch with the actor Ryan Gossling (from The Notebook, Fracture).

That's enough for now...I'm off to the zoo (oh, by the way, since I live 20 feet from the national zoo, I go there all the time. the panda is my pet now).

My first final is a week from Tuesday. At this time last semester, I wrote my most recent update.

That, my friends, is pathetic.

Like losing touch with an old friend, who you desperately want to call but don't have the patience to deal with the catch-up, it's been too long to try to catch you all up.

so, let's stick with the present.

One recent news item...I finally adopted a puppy! This has been a LONG process (excuse #1538 for not keeping up with this) but Livy just found us. That's the best way for it to happen. She is adorable, but a big fan of chewing on my flesh. Observe her at her calmest...






Okay, so it was probably not the best idea to get a puppy right before finals. Luckily, my sister is co-owner and takes shifts. So far, she almost sleeps through the night. I am such a sucker, I can't stand to hear her cry for any length of time.

Other than her, my "free" time has been consumed with trying to get ready for this summer. I got my ideal job working in D.C. for the Senate! I even get paid to be there! I'm working on a bipartisan committee...with the front runner for the Democratic presidential bid and other controversial people. It's going to be great!


That's all I can take for now....

while attempting to open my 'law and theology' outline, i opened up the internet browser. for whatever reason, this reminded me that i haven't updated in a while. this is my pathetic attempt at an update.


my first final is in exactly one week. finals are terrible. i wish we could just be scored based on our personalities. and not scored with the usual, static, A, B or C.....scored with Lucky Charm symbols. How great would it be to say "I got a green clover in Family Law, a yellow moon in PR and a purple horseshoe in Energy Policy!". Now, THAT is something I'd be proud of! even better, no one in the outside world would know the equivalent of the symbols. genius!

everyone around me seems to be sick. my sister (who also plays my roommate), my boyfriend, my friends. what is wrong with you people?? i cannot be sick right now. so, the best offense is a good defense, right? or the reverse. regardless, i am hopped up on vitamins and herbs. i feel kinda like jessie in saved by the bell....except, i'm taking something called anas barbarie hepatis et cordis extractum instead of caffeine pills. anas? hepatis? ummm, that doesn't sound good.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I certainly did. 4 times. Yes, my friends, 4 thanksgivings. my mom's, my dad's, travis' mom's, travis' dad's.....welcome to Americana.


back to my original task...

even when i goof off, it comes back to law....

it all started when the right click portion of my mouse stopped working. that was the moment when i realized how things in this world are not as they should be.

follow my train of thought for a moment....

1. children in an amish school are not even safe from evil, evil men

2. a majority of a congressional district in our fair country elected a man who:
A. cannot spell to save his life
B. harasses the very people he is appointed to protect
C. most annoyingly, the harassment occurs while he should be listening to debate about war
appropriations and the like

3. i am 23 years old and i spend the majority of my time in the law library acquiring ulcers


i've felt like i've been in a funk the past week or so...i just can't seem to snap myself out of it. any suggestions?

i am going back and forth between wondering "why did it take so long for wednesday to get here" and "how can it be wednesday already". i blame the weather. and that creepy teacher i saw on the news.

she is my age, beautiful and recently married. she started teaching and fell in love with a 14-year-old student. matt lauer (to be said in roy's voice) asked her if she thought she was falling down the same path as mary kay letourneau. she didn't know who that was.

worse part---instead of going to prison, she is under house arrest for 3 years. why? because her lawyer argued that she was 'too beautiful' to go to prison.

i'm going to be insulted if i ever get sent to prison....

i wonder if that lawyer needs an intern for this summer? he sounds like a class act...

You Are From Jupiter

You are exuberantly curious - and you love to explore newness. Enthusiastic and optimistic, you get a kick out of stimulating intellectual discussions. Foreign cultures and languages fascinate you. You love the outdoors, animals, and freedom. Chances are you tend to exaggerate, so try to keep a lid on that. If you do, you'll continue to be known for your confidence, generosity, and sense of justice.

this is day 2 of my 2nd year of law school.

even before i started my first year, i was told that the second year is 'easier'.

"it gets better..i promise"

liars! all of you!



(i'm not really that dramatic in real life)

this year has been different than last--but mostly due to self-inflicted wounds. 2 main differences 1) i'm working during the school year and 2) law review requires as much attention as a new puppy

on top of it, i am dealing with some personal mumbo-jumbo. my brother is going through a really hard time...especially this week. plus i'm questioning some relationships in my own life. i think some drastic and difficult changes are coming soon....


yeah, this year is way better.

the office i'm working at did not know what they were getting themselves into when they agreed to take on 6 interns from around the country. they probably figured it would be a tame couple of months, since we didn't know each other and we were supposed to be some of the top law students (with hard work ethics and low senses of humor)

well, the 6 of us are different. we've hit it off and become quite close and comfortable with one another. this led to such events as 'pirate day' (where we wore pirate hats and passed out pirate stickers and pirate booty to the office). you see, if you put 6 repressed students into one little reception area, they turn into kindergartners.

they set us up in what was (and what will be when we leave) the receptionist area. they moved the comfy couches somewhere else and put up 6 card tables for us. we are the first line of defense for the office. i wish i had a camera for the first day the UPS man walked in the door while we were there. it was priceless. everyone has a variation of the same reaction

"whoa" (then they check the label on the door to make sure they are in the right place)

another downfall for the entire office is the fact that i stumbled upon some fresh jack handey quotes the other day! i almost fell down, i was laughing so hard. it was a hazardous situation. i shall share a few. for your safety, sit down first.

I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.

If you're ever stuck in some thick undergrowth, in your underwear, don't stop and think of what other words have "under" in them, because that's probably the first sign of jungle madness.

When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.

today marks the 3rd anniversary of when travis and i first met. 3 years!

it has been a bittersweet day. let's focus on the sweet for the purposes of a public forum....

travis drove to dallas yesterday to go to six flags with the other interns and i. it was awesome! he stayed at my mom's house so he could take me out to dinner today. he made reservations for my absolute favorite restaurant in the entire world.





i am impressed. he makes me happy.

wow...i honestly do not know how long it has been since my last post. it was definitely before my internship...so at least 3 weeks.

what a difference 3 weeks can make. i had no idea what i was getting myself into...which is probably good, because i might not have followed through if i did....and i would have missed out on the best experience of my life.

for the first time in quite a while, i feel like i'm in the right place at the right time. one of the ways i can tell is through the challenges that have come my way since i've been in arizona. do you know what i mean? i'm not quite sure how to articulate it--just that life has been throwing me and my family curve balls--starting from the moment i left tulsa. it seems counter intuitive, but as these curve balls attempt to distract me, i realize that i must be a part of something bigger than myself. complacency breeds when life is too easy.

for those of you who are playing along at home, here is a quick update on what i'm doing...

Phase 1: 2 weeks of intense training in Phoenix. kind of like law boot camp. listened to brilliant speakers on some of the most prevalent 1st amendment issues in the courts right now. in addition to the ridiculously nice hotel, i was surrounded by 97 of the most genuine and brilliant law students from around the country.

Phase 2: 6 weeks of playing legal intern in plano, texas. just finished week one. i'm working on a project that is fascinating--and hopefully one day i'll be able to talk about it! yesterday i sat in awe as two of the attorneys whipped up an amicus brief that became justice kennedy's lunch reading today!

despite the moments of weakness (exhaustion, homesickness), this internship has been an oasis after the desolate first year. this is why i want to be a lawyer. to actually accomplish something rather than just bill a bunch of hours and make a lot of money for a family i never see.

this post is too serious.

peter: "quit the foreplay--what are you selling?"
salesman: "well, i was going to sell you some handsome cream, but it looks like you've bought out the whole store!"
peter: "go on"
salesman: "i'm selling volcano insurance"
peter: "go on..."

my internship starts tomorrow.

i don't know if i will be able to update very much. since i update all the time, this will be a time of adjustment for my loyal readers. :)


if you are in the phoenix area, please find me

dan brown is a writer of fiction, not a historian. there is no 'other side to the story' when the story is fictitious.

fiction, people! stop reading into it like it's a lost artifact found in a cave surrounded by monkeys!

you don't see people hypothesizing about whether star wars is real.

tomorrow it will be 2 weeks since i finished my last final of my first year of law school

yesterday marked the first week of my 23rd year

today, i finally feel like my life is getting back to normal

in 3 weeks, everything will change....again.



how can i express how much i love sleeping in? it took me about a week to master the art again, but i am improving my skill more and more every day. finals were filled with stress and immediately followed by my birthday. the juxtaposition created one worn out person.

i think i have this vacation thing down now. here are my highlights so far

--pretended to be feminine and got pedicures with my friends
--went to the zoo
--went to my first renaissance fair---rejoiced that they let me in despite my obvious lack of costume
--desperately tried to avoid the massive amounts of cleavage at said fair
--spent 3 hours at the casino playing games with the $10 they gave me for my birthday
--went to a driller's game....for one inning. have a souvenir helmet to prove it
--escaped from the 'golden chef' with michael

i like summer. i start my job on june 11th. then i will tried in my carefree spirit and flip flops for suits and 3 roundtrips to phoenix and 2 to plano.

for the record, some consider sleep deprivation a form of torture. if only i lived in a country that assented, without reservations, to the convention against torture.

every time i walk through the chapman rotunda (for those of you not in law school with me--it's a little area right outside of the 2nd floor of the library with an opening to the first floor), i think about what would happen if i tossed my keys/phone/id down the hole. would the librarian let me in to go retrieve my belongings? would they believe me when i said i threw my id down the hole?

i need a break from this building. we've spent WAY too much time together lately and I'm feeling a little claustrophobic. I just want to see what else is out there. I love being with this building but I'm too young to settle down.

kara and i went to get coffee earlier this afternoon. on the short walk over to the coffee building, i was filled with a sense of gratitude for the owners of carrello's. since they have been on campus, i've been 3 minutes away from GREAT coffee. i appreciate that they have frequent drinker punch cards and give you a discount if you bring your own mug. the grateful bubble burst when i was confronted with terrible news. "Closed until May 15th". WHAT?????????? I see how it is, coffee stand. Acclimate me to use your services. Draw me in with promotions and fluffy whipped cream. Create clever slogans like 'mocha monday' to persuade me to come visit you and then take it all away during FINALS. cruel, cruel joke little green coffee stand.

because i REALLY want to quit law school right now.